Defined by their addictions, the Addict abuser types believe only other addicts can understand them deeply and emotionally. These types have large mood swings to release inner tension and are attracted to the Enabler abusive type.
Knowing the traits and patterns of the most common abuser types can help you avoid abuser behavior before it starts. Alternatively, it may aid you in deciding whether a certain person in your life is indeed showing abusive tendencies, and how to handle the situation. Though it would be impossible to illustrate the exact personality traits of each and every abuser, there are certain abuser profiles that are more commonly seen than others.
There are 13 abuser profile types:
- The Drama King/Queen
- The Player
- The Cuddler
- The Jailer
- The Tough One
- The Gardener
- The Gatekeeper
- The Enabler
- The Rescuer
- La Machita
- The Obsessor
- The Brat
- The Addict
Let us introduce the 13th type.
The Addict Type
How They Feel
My world is defined by my addictions, including past, present, and future. All those close to me are addicts struggling with recovery or former addicts still emotionally tied to their addiction. Everyone struggles with addiction. The only person that can understand me is someone like me - always thinking about the chemicals that make you feel good. It might be illegal drugs, prescription pills, alcohol, smoking, emotional tension relating to chemical abuse, or any combination. When I use, my emotions become calm and I feel the way I’m supposed to feel - powerful, in control, high, and content.
Moody, judgmental but not to be judged, impatient, narcissistic, sociopathic, hot-tempered, unpredictable, impulsive, explosively aggressive, self-confident, acts like the victim, sadistic, blames others for misconduct, blames drugs/alcohol for conduct, self-degrading and self-mutilating, uses hostages, suicidal, emotionally unstable, self-mutilating, always with addicts/former addicts, chronic smoker since a teen, frequently in rehab/on probation, frequently in 12-step programs, and is very social with former addicts while distant with non-codependents.
The Addict is likely to be involved in a program for substance abuse at any given time. They enjoy talking about their “past” addictions and why using is a bad idea. This person will likely flip-flop between being sober and abusing substances throughout their life. When they do hit rock bottom, they will rebound once again, always stronger than before. Though it is probable that the Addict will start using again at any point, they like to pretend that they are in control of their addiction. Smoking is also a big deal for them as they can justify their habit by claiming its legality.
Romantic partners are selected only from those who have dealt with substance addiction in the past as well. They feel that no one could possibly understand what they are going through like someone else who is going through the same.
Whomever the Addict is socializing with, whether romantic or not, they will be battling with an addiction. This type enjoys having someone else to help in recovery. The entire connection will revolve around wanting to give into substances once more and the emotional challenges these situations bring on. There is usually high emotional tension that is sometimes due to deprivation of whatever substance they are craving.
If the Addict is not in a state of high somehow, their emotions and annoyances about their habit will start to creep into all conversations. However, when they do experience the substance, they will seem calm and comfortable. Sometimes they will get a little bit out of line, though usually will not harm anymore. On the off time that they do harm someone, they do not feel remorseful as they believe they were not in control so it was not their fault. During their high periods, they strip away all responsibility of bad behavior.
When going through their “clean” periods, the Addict will act as though they are content while inside they are itching for something more. They find other addicts comforting and enjoy conversing with them about the trials of quitting and how dumb they were when they did use, acting as though they are actually further along in their recovery than they actually are.
Physical violence is not out of the question as they tend to have a very bad temper. Whomever they wind up in a relationship with is conditioned to give the Addict a good bit of space, or else. Insults, yelling, door slams, and other outbursts are typical when the partner isn’t careful. In the end, the partner often leaves them and is then quickly replaced by another who is also trying to quit.
Work seems to really irk them and therefore they are very confrontational and irritated when they arrive home. Nothing seems to be done right for them and they will argue about anything that comes up as they cannot silence their inner tension.
This type feels a strong need to control situations, their environment, and those in them. They expect that everyone will step in line and do as they are told. Any mistake is not tolerated and there will be a war with whomever they feel has disrespected them. Brutal and gruesome acts towards helpless individuals are not unheard of as a way to set an example. Their moods are all over the place and will keep everyone walking on eggshells. If they do something particularly horrible, they will find a way to blame anyone or anything other than themselves.
For further information and to find out ways that you can possibly remedy or downgrade some of this behavior, what their motivation is, as well as what kind of partner this type typically seeks out or avoids, please look into downloading our free E-book of the abuser types.
When in the midst of an abusive situation, it may be difficult to think clearly and come up with a solution to remedy the abuse, while trying to implement it may feel almost impossible. However, given the right tools and the will power to create change, it most certainly is possible, even more so– it is probable. Many may feel overwhelmed and may not know where to start, but it is important to start somewhere.
Please continue to check in with us each week for a new post about abusive behavior and how it can affect your life and the lives of those around you. There is always that first action to helping someone you care about. Let this be it!
Note – This personality may apply to males and females in heterosexual relationships or the dominant role in gay or lesbian relationships. The subordinate role, the victim, may be male or female.