The Brat: Twelfth of 13 Abuser Types - Who's the Brat in your life?

Constantly looking for attention, the Brat wants to fuel the emotions of everyone around; whether good or bad. They shun the responsibility and cruelty of an adult world.

Knowing the traits and patterns of the most common abuser types can help you avoid abuser behavior before it starts. Alternatively, it may aid you in deciding whether a certain person in your life is indeed showing abusive tendencies, and how to handle the situation. Though it would be impossible to illustrate the exact personality traits of each and every abuser, there are certain abuser profiles that are more commonly seen than others.

There are 13 abuser profile types:

  1. The Drama King/Queen
  2. The Player
  3. The Cuddler
  4. The Jailer
  5. The Tough One
  6. The Gardener
  7. The Gatekeeper
  8. The Enabler
  9. The Rescuer
  10. La Machita
  11. The Obsessor
  12. The Brat
  13. The Addict

Let us introduce the 12th type.

The Brat Type

How they feel

I am constantly looking for attention. My world and my needs are the center of the universe. Being hated is the same as being loved as long as it is with passion. My actions fuel the emotions of all around me - I can turn on the charm or vicious hatred upon a whim. It's all about me being a child, no matter how old I become.


Immature, playful, pathological, daring and adventurous, moody and temperamental, spontaneous and has no plan, very short-term planner, extremely sensitive, needs constant emotional contact, history of childhood trauma, history of childhood neglect, childishly charming, over-reactive, speaks at times in baby talk, sees the world in terms of good and bad, either good or bad extreme is acceptable, feels above accountability, lives in denial, and may create self-imposed isolation.


The Brat heightens their emotional responses to everything around them so that they can feel more alive. They enjoy childhood things that they did as children and are likely to watch kid shows even in their 60’s. Because they never really had a childhood of their own, they are forever stuck recreating one for themselves. They simply cannot let go of the past. Whatever abuse they have endured as a child will need to be shielded and a blanket of fantasy is there instead to comfort them. They feel secure in their home, where they can hide away from the big, bad world.

This type does not do well if they are left to take responsibility for themselves or anything else. They allow their emotions to get the best of them and react by abusing substances or throwing “tantrums”.

The harder someone is to catch, the more they will want them. The Brat does not want an obligation and therefore often find their romantic interests from among those who are already taken or living far away, as this makes them less available. This type will use their emotional intensity to lure in their partners. They will act. Love, anger, sadness…it is all an act; a very convincing act. This act is so convincing that the Brat cannot even tell whether it is true or not. They do not feel guilty for it either and often cannot recall what they actually did or said the day before. Living in the moment, the present is all that matters to them.                  

Practical jokes are amusing to the Brat, even those that others would consider serious. They will try to manipulate others by behaving in an immature manner, making people believe they are just not capable when they really are. To them, playing the victim is fun. They do not wish to be malicious though, what they are truly after is a RESPONSE. An emotional response from their partner so they know they really do have a hold on them. This makes them feel comfortable.

However, sometimes they get more than they bargained for from others after creating such scenes. Sometimes, people will physically injure the Brat or possibly even end their lives altogether. This person can push and push and push people until they break. They do not know where the line is. They just want to FEEL.

It would suit them best, they feel, if they found a significant other that was able to be both a romantic partner, as well as a parental figure for them. Someone that would always take care of them and tend to their emotional issues. Growing up is no fun, so why do it?

For further information and to find out ways that you can possibly remedy or downgrade some of this behavior, what their motivation is, as well as what kind of partner this type typically seeks out or avoids, please look into downloading our free E-book of the abuser types.

When in the midst of an abusive situation, it may be difficult to think clearly and come up with a solution to remedy the abuse, while trying to implement it may feel almost impossible. However, given the right tools and the will power to create change, it most certainly is possible, even more so– it is probable. Many may feel overwhelmed and may not know where to start, but it is important to start somewhere.

Please continue to check in with us each week for a new post about abusive behavior and how it can affect your life and the lives of those around you. There is always that first action to helping someone you care about. Let this be it!

Note – This personality typically applies to females in heterosexual relationships or the subordinate role in gay or lesbian relationships. The subordinate role, the victim, may be male or female.

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