The Cuddler wants to have a baby. They hope this will cure their feelings of loneliness. They expect their lives to suddenly and permanently change for the better by having a child of their own.
Knowing the traits and patterns of the most common abuser types can help you avoid abuser behavior before it starts. Alternatively, it may aid you in deciding whether a certain person in your life is indeed showing abusive tendencies, and how to handle the situation. Though it would be impossible to illustrate the exact personality traits of each and every abuser, there are certain abuser profiles that are more commonly seen than others.
There are 13 abuser profile types:
- The Drama King/Queen
- The Player
- The Cuddler
- The Jailer
- The Tough One
- The Gardener
- The Gatekeeper
- The Enabler
- The Rescuer
- La Machita
- The Obsessor
- The Brat
- The Addict
Let us introduce the third type.
The Cuddler Type
How they feel:
I just want to hold and squeeze my baby. All my friends have one already. They are never lonely because they have their babies. I need a baby of my own. Then I’ll never be lonely.
Introverted, self-centered, immature, lazy, doting, underachiever, backs down from direct conflict, persuasive , isolated , simple-minded, low self-esteem, reclusive, secretive, and independent.
The cuddler type feels very much alone and lacking the love they desperately crave. They can never seem to get enough of it and somewhere down the line they decided that having a baby will solve all of their problems. They want someone who will love them and need them always.
Extremely co-dependent on their children, they believe that a child’s job is to make their parents happy. They enter into romantic relationships with the main goal of getting pregnant. They can make their partner feel like they want to get married and have a family together, with them. But in the end, all they really want is the baby. They do not really seem to care who the partner is, they just want to have a baby so that they can have someone to snuggle with forever.
The ultimate home-bodies, they have no real ambition in life and probably never did very well in school, often leaving before graduation. This type prefers to just sit around at home and watch television programs or browse online shops for things they can eventually own in their fantasy role as a parent. They believe that if they just have that baby, everything will be provided for them by others and all they have to do forevermore is stay at home and cuddle with a baby. This idea makes them feel emotionally secure.
This person has no qualms about taking advantage of their parents or of government support programs in order to pay for food, bills, or housing for themselves and their child. They feel that they can almost literally be paid to just stay home and have children and that they never need to worry about actually working. The only thing they will be doing is playing with the baby.
In their perfect world, there is only themselves and their “baby”. The other parent does not even enter into the equation. They feel they will be allowed to live with their family, rent-free, as long as they have a child to take care of. They may even let the other parent come out for a visit sometimes. Loneliness will never come again after they have this perfect little baby—how adorable they are!
Once they become pregnant, they quickly bolt from the relationship they were in. They no longer speak of marriage and a family together. They don’t need a partner when they have this perfect little angel to love them. They fear that if they do commit to a legal arrangement, their funds and safety will be in jeopardy as there will be no more freebies.
It is likely that they will not tell their previous partner about going into labour or once the child is out. They wouldn’t want the other parent to actually come around and act like one. They feel that they are all that their baby really needs. It is THEIR baby. Just for THEM. Now that they have what they wanted, they virtually chuck the partner out of their life, as they were only a means to an end anyway.
When the child starts growing up, they feel a bit of a panic. There aren’t as many cuddles and snuggles as there once was and the kid starts acting independently. Now the child isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do for this person’s ego. So of course, they need to have ANOTHER one to replace them with. They will either go back to the first partner and convince them that they really do want a family with them, marriage, the whole lot or they will find a new partner to conceive with. They will feed them the same happily ever after story they fed the first one.
After the new baby arrives, the cuddler will discard their partner once more and the cycle starts over. They are happy as long as they can stay home and get love from their baby. Never needing to feel that awful loneliness they felt before.
For further information and to find out ways that you can possibly remedy or downgrade some of this behavior, what their motivation is, as well as what kind of partner this type typically seeks out or avoids, please look into downloading our free E-book of the abuser types.
When in the midst of an abusive situation, it may be difficult to think clearly and come up with a solution to remedy the abuse, while trying to implement it may feel almost impossible. However, given the right tools and the will power to create change, it most certainly is possible, even more so– it is probable. Many may feel overwhelmed and may not know where to start, but it is important to start somewhere.
Please continue to check in with us each week for a new post about abusive behavior and how it can affect your life and the lives of those around you. There is always that first action to helping someone you care about. Let this be it!