La Machita is typically older than their partner. If not older, they act older and wiser anyway, and are always in charge; treating their partner like an obedient puppet.
Knowing the traits and patterns of the most common abuser types can help you avoid abuser behavior before it starts. Alternatively, it may aid you in deciding whether a certain person in your life is indeed showing abusive tendencies, and how to handle the situation. Though it would be impossible to illustrate the exact personality traits of each and every abuser, there are certain abuser profiles that are more commonly seen than others.
There are 13 abuser profile types:
- The Drama King/Queen
- The Player
- The Cuddler
- The Jailer
- The Tough One
- The Gardener
- The Gatekeeper
- The Enabler
- The Rescuer
- La Machita
- The Obsessor
- The Brat
- The Addict
Let us introduce the 10th type.
La Machita Type
How they feel:
I am in charge. My partner is but a puppet, obedient to me, or I will just get someone new. I am dominant while my companion is subordinate. I am the queen and they are my slave. I am a general – they are my private. So long as I am in charge, my partner adores me. So long as I issue orders, I am the center of my partner's attention. The more dominant I am, the more attention I receive and the more respect I deserve.
Domineering, assaultive, aggressive, degrades others, never satisfied, extroverted, thin skinned/can't be criticized, cowardly, fearful, compassion for the weak/misfits, moody and temperamental, spontaneous, very short term planner, self-contradictory, extremely sensitive, needs constant emotional contact, history of childhood poverty/abuse, constantly shifting alliances, usually angry with someone, looking for a better partner, generous to the poor, very proud, childishly charming, over-reactive, feels indispensable, and thinks is smarter than everyone.
La Machita usually has quite a few years on their partner. However, if they happen to be younger, they will still behave as if they are more experienced or wiser somehow. They see themselves as the stronger partner and insist that they be in charge of making all decisions. The partner of this type will often feel that their choices are made for them, even in regards to how they may behave. Sometimes, the control will extend to those outside of the relationship as well (friends, family, acquaintances). La Machita will not hold back with their demands and people often give in to them simply to get them out of their hair. They know what they want and refuse to take no for an answer.
The most important thing to La Machita is that their partner does whatever La Machita tells them to. They do not want to be questioned or have to explain their decisions or demands, they expect to be followed. Often La Machita will abuse their partner in one way or another and then have the nerve to insist that the partner apologize to THEM. The partner of La Machita is treated like they are not worthy of being human and no respect will be given. They must obey. Simple.
This type will often be uneducated, though still believe that they are somehow smarter than most and therefore their partner is in the wrong. They want their partner to know that they don’t need them or their love. La Machita will make their partner work hard for any bit of affection and then this type will randomly be sweet and show care and kindness, only to keep their partner desperate for their love and attention
This kind of person is likely to insist that certain types of work be carried out, only to revert everything back to the way it was in the first place; they do not actually care at all about the result, only that people do what they say. Everything is a power trip for them. They can keep someone working on a task for hours when it would easily have been done in a few short minutes.
All forms of abuse will be dealt to the partner though La Machita will never be harmed in any way. Even the smallest amount of trouble directed at them is unbearable to La Machita.
Fault-finding perfectionists, they will examine everything that their partner does to try to find something wrong with it. If they find something, which they often will, they have no trouble telling their partner that they are stupid and incapable, manipulating them at every turn. Loud scenes are common for these people.
They may express affection in strange ways, slapping their partner on the back of the head while delivering a tender kiss on the lips at the same time. Extreme love and extreme abuse can be the same thing to them.
Jealousy will be used to make their partners envious. La Machita loves to be the center of attention. They are often scouting for an even better partner than the one they have. A little more this, a little less that; they are masters of criticism and want the perfect, subordinate, model. If their potential mate isn’t the brightest of bulbs, even better. Easier to control. La Machita can really lay on the charm to capture the interest of their potential partner.
For further information and to find out ways that you can possibly remedy or downgrade some of this behavior, what their motivation is, as well as what kind of partner this type typically seeks out or avoids, please look into downloading our free E-book of the abuser types.
When in the midst of an abusive situation, it may be difficult to think clearly and come up with a solution to remedy the abuse, while trying to implement it may feel almost impossible. However, given the right tools and the will power to create change, it most certainly is possible, even more so– it is probable. Many may feel overwhelmed and may not know where to start, but it is important to start somewhere.
Please continue to check in with us each week for a new post about abusive behavior and how it can affect your life and the lives of those around you. There is always that first action to helping someone you care about. Let this be it!
Note – This personality may apply to females in heterosexual relationships or the dominant role in lesbian relationships. The subordinate role, the victim, may be a heterosexual male or lesbian female.