14 steps to keep safe from stalkers. #6 is so simple, yet few people do it


In popular media stalking is usually portrayed as some crazed man who has fallen for a woman, yet either doesn’t have the confidence to approach the woman or the “love” is unrequited and the woman has offended the man by not seeing the true nature of their compatibility.

In reality, both men and women can be stalkers. Also, stalkers can often target close friends and family of the intended victim in order to feel closer or get a better sense of their target. Furthermore, stalkers can be motivated by intense affection or intense dislike of the victim. 

Whatever the motivation, circumstances, orientation, or sex of the victim and abuser, stalking involves one person’s obsessive behavior toward another person. A stalker intentionally engages in conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear bodily injury and/or emotional distress to themselves or friends and family. 

  1. Keep records – Film and record all stalking and harassing behavior. Stalking can be criminally prosecuted at times and often has implications for civil and family court. The more evidence you have to support claims you are being stalked the more likely the courts will be able to help. If you are unsure, a private investigator or lawyer may be able to provide assistance or advice.

  2. Keep a list of accurate dates, times and locations of where events take place. Any items received and names of any witnesses. Safeguard this information where the stalker cannot find it.

  3. Keep all threatening or inappropriate letters, envelopes and all packing materials.

  4. Remember that a threat doesn’t require words. 

  5. Try to avoid personal contact. Get away from the stalker as soon as possible and contact the police.

  6. Tell your stalker once, clearly, “Leave me alone. I don’t want you in my life. I will contact the police and I will have you stopped.” Then walk away. People unwittingly encourage stalkers by trying to reason with them, giving the stalker the contact they desire. After that one conversation, do not engage your stalker in any way if possible.

  7. Don’t let personal information be disclosed to outsiders. Tell friends, family and co-workers not to release information about you or even themselves and explain your reason. Make sure people are aware of your predicament. The more aware the people in your life, the safer you will be. Nothing bothers stalkers more than when their game is turned around on them, preventing their free movement without being noticed. Especially prevent social media posts, tweets, and comments by yourself, your family, and your friends that disclose personal information, location, plans, etc.

  8. Inform people. Describe the threatening person to those around you. Photographs work even better. Describe his or her vehicle and give the license plate number to family members, neighbors, co-workers, school officials, secretaries, and police. If the person is stalking you by phone, record all the calls. Keep the digital files/tapes in a place where somebody you trust can access them if the need arises.

  9. Be aware of allies the abuser has who wish to support the stalkers behavior. Be aware the stalkers may try especially hard to enlist the help of the victim’s own family and friends.

  10. Tell people at work. Notify your supervisor, security director and receptionist .

  11. Tell security, coworkers, and everyone who works near a door or entryway about the stalker. Don’t go it alone!

  12. Screen mail and telephone calls.

  13. Be alert and be aware! Don’t hesitate to ask a security guard or co-worker to escort you to your car.

  14. Secure your property. Keep personal property locked in your desk drawer, always keep your car locked, and never leave personal property out where someone might take it.

  15. Abuse is a disease, passed from one generation to the next. One of the biggest problems in fighting abuse in our culture and among our friends and family is to recognize that many common actions we see are part of a larger picture, part of a pattern of abuse that begins to emerge if we know what to look for and how to look for it. 

Literally everyone can benefit from a better understanding of abuse, please share this article. There is always a first action to helping someone you care about. Let this be it!

 

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