In our previous post, one of the internal options for handling harmful behavior patterns was introduced—The C3 Approach.The C3 process assists the mind in recognizing and then breaking free from harmful patterns. Thus, C3 offers a solution to those who are trapped by ever-escalating disharmony and suffering. Freedom from exposure to post traumatic stress, emotional impairment, physical injury, and other horrific experiences starts with a person’s willingness to think and respond in new ways that can reduce risk by minimizing emotional engagement.
Before we discuss the first technique used in the C3 approach, it should be noted that all meditations are best practiced by sitting on the ground cross-legged, on pillows or a small stool, or if necessary, on a chair. Keeping the back and neck in a straight line is more important than being close to the ground. Hands can be folded in your lap or set on the knees, either faced down or up. Eyes are closed or almost closed. Breathe in and out gently. No music or other distractions should be present - it's just you and your mind.
Try not to move excessively, but it is okay to scratch, sneeze, cough, and move your legs if they hurt. Remove distractions; over time the body will get used to being still. For some, it can be beneficial to be around other people who are also meditating.
The Metta Technique – Loving Kindness Meditation
This is used to teach the brain how to wish others well and offer loving kindness to those around you. This helps to develop compassion. The Metta technique not only develops a point of observation and understanding, but changes the many interpersonal dynamics that come into play during disharmonious encounters. As focus is diverted to the wellbeing of others, this technique often reduces anxiety by diminishing first reactions. Metta meditation also deflects prompts, manipulations, and emotional triggers initiated by you or others.
When facing an external confrontation, for instance via yelling or taunting, or if the fear of harm exists, Metta is a preferred tool. This method is often used by many to calm the emotions and radiate harmonious thoughts rather than react in fear, which can enable victimization. Metta is not an invisible shield of safety, but it often leads to a calmer state, better choices, and perhaps subconscious cooperation from an antagonist.
This meditation is accomplished by imagining yourself in a calm sitting position, radiating good energy, light, waves, droplets of water, or whatever you wish, to those around you.
First broadcast positive and loving thoughts to the beings in the place where you are (i.e. the room or at the park bench), then throughout the building or place you are in, then to the neighborhood, the community, the greater metropolitan area, the region, the hemisphere, the planet, the solar system, the galaxy, the cluster of galaxies, this universe, the other universes and dimensions that may exist, and then without limit or bound. Imagine your energy expanding, enveloping, and nurturing all beings as far out as your imagination will allow.
At each level of focus, wish all the beings to be well, happy, comfortable, and peaceful. Bless them with your calm mind. Ask that no harm comes to them, no difficulties come to them, no problems come to them, and that they may be at peace. Spend a minute or two at each level of focus. Attempt to move past the world and people you know to a place where reality is in the imagination and not in emotion. The mind expands when the imagination comes into consciousness.
Meditating can often lead to cognitive development and a greater ability to control emotions and reduce anxiety. #endingtheabuse #meditation #loveyourself #domesticviolence #compassion https://t.co/0T74P3kiP2— EndingTheAbuse (@endingtheabuse1) October 16, 2018
While it is uncertain whether projecting loving kindness and positive energy will have any effect on other beings, the practitioner will experience physiological changes that often lead to cognitive development and a greater ability to control their emotions. When faced with aggression, anger, or negative emotion, a Metta state can be summoned in an instant and used as a tool to remain calm and help engage in a response that is more thoughtful and purposeful.
Given time and practice, this mediation may take as long as 30-40 minutes, but at first try to start with 10 minutes, or even 1 minute can provide benefit: let your body decide how long is enough. As your mind becomes accustomed to this practice, time seems to move faster and this state of being becomes quicker to produce.
There are 3 different techniques used in the C3 approach and the remaining two will be discussed in the coming weeks.
When in the midst of an abusive situation, it may be difficult to think clearly and come up with a solution to remedy the abuse, while trying to implement it may feel almost impossible. However, given the right tools and the will power to create change, it most certainly is possible, even more so– it is probable. Many may feel overwhelmed and may not know where to start, but it is important to start somewhere.
Please continue to check in with us each week for a new post about abusive behavior and how it can affect your life and the lives of those around you. There is always that first action to helping someone you care about. Let this be it!